mothers

I seem to collect mothers wherever I go. I don't mind it, in fact, I love it. Being so close with my own mom, it's always a comfort to find back-ups when I stray far from the nest.It began when I was younger. Anyone who knows my mom would not be shocked to learn that when I was little I often needed help picking matching outfits, learning to braid, and (allegedly) even brushing my hair sometimes. Enter Surrogate Mom #1: Leslie.

In the years to come, I would find many more moms in my life. At school, I found teachers to confide in and when I studied broad in Florence, I found a seriously crazy Italian mama. So when I came to teach in Thailand, it was no surprise that I found a whole crew of Thai moms to would welcome me.

Genie, Pammy, Patsy, and Wanee eased the pain of separation from my own mom. They've cooked us dinner, caravaned us all around the Isaan rice fields, and even invited us to their intimate birthday celebrations. But it was a few weeks ago, when I was followed home by a young man, that "the aunts" proved their motherly merit.

It was the Friday afternoon of a relatively easy week. My ninth graders were taking their finals so I was just hanging out in the office and grading all day. While walking up the stairs of my apartment building, I was consumed by thoughts of my upcoming weekend trip to Bangkok for Valentine's Day, and the fact that I really had to pee. On the stairs I absent mindedly smiled at a young man coming up the stairs behind me. By the time I got to my room I had to pee so badly that I ran into my room and threw my bags down on the bed without locking the door behind me. Moments later, when I heard a knock on the door I swung the door open rapidly assuming it was Reuven who had been on his way home right behind me. Instead, I was greeted by the eerie smile of the same guy from the stairwell earlier.

Confused, I greeted him in thai and asked him what he wanted. When he began poking his head into the doorway and rattling away in Thai I tried to narrow the opening in the door. In my best thai I again tried to ask him what he wanted, but instead of answering he pushed open the door and stepped inside. Baffled and annoyed I told him that I was sorry i did not understand what he wanted, but to get out, but he only continued surveying my room, oddly peering around the corners and into the bathroom as if he was looking for something. Feeling increasingly alarmed, but not threatened I raised my voice yelled at him to get the hell out! As he walked to the door I felt relief, which quickly subsided when he pushed the door closed and and grabbed me by the shoulders, urging me toward the corner of my bed.

It was the exact opposite of every scary dream I've had about things like this. Things didn't move in slow motion, everything didn't go quiet and dark, I wasn't mute and unable to scream, my legs weren't glued to the floor like heavy stones. My kickboxing instincts surged within me. I screamed NO! as loud as I could. I threw him off of me and into the wall nearest the front door. I shoved him out of my room and slammed the door behind him with all my strength.

With a surge of adrenaline coursing through me, I took off after him. Not wanting to lose him, I pounded on the window of the front desk and gesticulated wildy for them to chase this intruder. Before I could explain the details of what had happened, adrenaline gave way to emotion and I began to cry. I was overcome by wave after wave of heaving sobs, hiccups, and hysterical shaking that prevented me from communicating at all. Baffled, the owner of the building quickly called to mom #1: genie, who also called pammy and pee oy, who called wanee and the chief of police. And within five mins i was surrounded by my entire thai family and the entire thai police force.

We spent the rest of the night in the police station, retelling the details in a bilingual translated statement. Four hours later, once they had riddled me with questions I could not remember the answers to, they realized they could use the security tape from the building. And two hours after that, they finally figured out how to rewind the video to show that haunting smile I had been describing to a room of police men.

I could launch into a tirade on the inefficiency of the thai police system, the frustrations of communication barriers, or the anxiety of the experience itself, but instead I want to focus on the beautifuk thing that emerged from this situation.

From the moment my thai family arrived on the scene, I was not left alone for a second. All night long, Genie was shaking her head in dismay while wrapping me in a huge hug; Pammy squeezed my hands with an impressive amount of strength for a woman of her size; and Wanee continued clucking around me, giving me love, support, and admiration, she even told me how impressed she was of my strength. Brian (my thai dad) and his seven adopted sons had me constantly surrounded in a protective circle. They were my little watch dogs, golda/sadie stand-ins for the night. Even the director of the school, to whom I've never spoken before, not only came to the police station, but also patted me on the head and met my eyes with a wide, paternal smile. And Reuven's mom, who had arrived in Thailand only 12 hours earlier, showered me with the comfort and concern reminiscent of my own jewish mother.

It is this thai spirit of understanding, hospitality, and love no questions asked, that had made my experience in this odd, challenging place so comfortable. It has also shown me that what I have out here in Kalasin is a very unique side of thai life. Where else could you find a group of thai women that could so easily absorb a farang into their family? In light of their kindness, and their love, and their amazing sense of humor in the face of tension and anxiety, the aunts convinced me that I could not leave them. And I decided that I couldn't leave them. And so I'm staying for another semester.

And if that's not a happy enough ending for you... they caught the little punk less than a week later! Or rather Brian caught him. Either way, he was brought into the police station and quickly admitted that what I said was all true, except that his intentions were only to speak English with me, yea right.

All's well that ends well.
xoxo