Chocolate Thai Boy Toy

Being from Laguna Beach, I consider myself a connoisseur of beautiful beaches. Growing up in the waves of Anita, Victoria, and Sleepy Hollow I learned a thing or two. I am an expert when it comes to sand, salt water, and sun. I know how to spot a rip tide, a set, and a floundering tourist. I have sun bathing techniques and sand etiquette. I know good beaches.

So when it came time to finally explore the allegedly breathing taking beaches of Thailand, I held my breath. Luckily, Koh Samet did not disappoint.

Day 1:

After an 11-hour bus ride that ended in excessively loud techno music for no apparent reason, Laura A, Laura B, and I mounted a song tow and headed down to Ban Phe, the jumping off point for ferries headed to Koh Samet (koh means island for all you farangs out there). Having studied my Lonely Planet thoroughly before reaching the dock, I knew that it was not advised to buy a round trip ticket as many return boats refuse to honor them several days later. So when we approached the window of the ticket booth I was prepared to stand my ground—and so was the squat, sweaty woman standing behind it. It was a short argument, I quickly accepted defeat as she looked like she’d won this battle before, and we quickly boarded the boat with our roundtrip tickets in hand.

Thai style ferry: No scheduled departure times, cram as many people as possible onto the boat, crawl over other boats to push off from the dock, drown the passengers in gasoline fumes, and put-put across the ocean at a minimal speed so as not to dislodge the passengers precariously seated on the roof. Gawk!

From the moment I set foot on the island to the moment I crawled back onto the ferry four days later, I think I had a perma-smile plastered on my increasingly tanned face. What a beautiful place. After checking in (“Hi, I’m Dena.” “Ok, here are the five rooms you asked for. Enjoy” “Do you want my last name? Passport? Credit Card? Any money?” “Nope” Niiice), we returned to the beach.

There is always something magical about stepping into the sand after a period of absence. I love that ticklish tingly sensation that happens when toes meet sand for the first time in months. I love it so much, I even wrote about it for a creative writing class when I was Italy (talk about odd forms of homesickness). So anyways, the moment was upon me, and the sand was the finest, whitest, most powdery surface my feet had ever embraced. Magical.

Throughout the day, around fifteen more people arrived. By the time the sun went down, we were nearly twenty foreigners strong. At around 4pm the area in front of our hotel was cleared, raked (yes, raked), and reset with mats, pillows, and low tables. Perfect for the sunset cocktail. That night we never made it off our beach.

Morning walk on Ao Sai Kaew

Day 2:

The next morning, Jo, Steph, and I decided to set out down the beach for a morning walk. It was quiet, bright, and warm. When we returned the troops were assembling at the beachside restaurant our hotel hosts. We enjoyed homemade yogurt with fresh honey and museli. I felt like I had come home again. It was slightly tart, sweet from the honey, and exactly what I’d been craving. With our friend Ilan as our unofficial tour guide, we moved farther south to a beach called Ao Pudsa (yep, Ao means beach, good job!). Compared to our beach, which was like the Main beach of the island, Ao Pudsa was isolated, relaxed, and even more beautiful. We nestled under the shade of a large tree, sun-blocked up (yes mom, we really did), and headed out to the raft floating near our side of the cove. While laying out back on shore, I closed my eyes and let the shadows of the leaves dance across my eyelids and drifting off to sleep. That is, until the men walked by with their fruit baskets and coaxed us to buy some, singing their tune “Mangoooo, coooocooout, pineapppppleeee.” Still hard to complain…

That night we were determined to leave our beach. After returning to our rooms to get al gussied up, we headed to Jep’s for dinner. We were greeted by an eccentric waiter named Peter Pancake, and enjoyed everything from green curry (my new favorite food. sweet basil + coconut milk= perfection) and spicy chicken, to hamburgers and club sandwiches. Then came dessert. It was so simple, and yet so good it almost brought me to tears. Coconut milk drenched sticky rice paired with the freshest, juiciest mango I’ve ever tasted. Mmmmm…

Day 3:

Saturday followed the routine of the day before, since you can’t really improve on perfection. On our way home, the sun began setting behind the islands western rim. Jenny and I thought quickly, dropped our bags, and ran into the warm waters. We watched as the sun dipped behind the silhouette of the island and illuminated the sky with almost neon pinks and oranges. It was picture perfect.

Jo, Jenny, Steph, Tessa, Me, and our very special waiter

That night we headed over to Ploy, which is a restaurant that specializes in two things: BBQ and techno fire shows. Our waiter, a short Thai guy with a long pony tail and a perplexing Australian accent. As he explained the menu to us (there is none you just point to the dishes by the BBQ), we stared at him in utter confusion. It was like the scene from Finding Nemo, when the little turtle tries to explain how to exit… “He’s trying to tell me something, I know it!”

Once we deciphered the “menu” and ordered our food, the show began. Its difficult to put into words the oddity of the techno fire show. Basically, this pumping rave music blares over the speakers all across the beach, then gorgeous, shirtless thai men take the stage (aka sand) and begin lighting these double ended torches on fire, then they spin them around, throw them in the air, dance with them, and generally do insane things that should never be done with fire sticks. But its so cool. All the while, the announcer is describing each dancer and auctioning him off as some lucky lady's new chocolate thai boy toy! Some girls at the table were literally drooling… though I won’t mention any names.

Chocolate Thai Boy Toy. Yummy.

At the end of the show, everyone is invited by the announcer to come forward to take pictures, learn to fire dance, and attempt the fire limbo. Ah! After much protesting, our waiter convinced us to participate in the fire limbo, for a free shot. Oh the things we’ll do for free alcohol… don’t worry, we all survived, but it wasn’t executed with much grace.

Note the proper form exhibited by our waiter, then our flailing limbs...

So that pretty much set the tone for the night,. We headed off to Naga and Toks to engage in some bucket drinking, an island specialty. And ended up at Silver Sand resort, home of the famous Bucket Tree Bar. Debauchery ensued, new friends were made, and memories were made.

Sharing a rum bucket with my wifey = Happiness!

Sunday morning everyone convened around the breakfast table looking all kinds of wonderful. Some tanned, some burnt, some chipper, some severely hung over, but all with good stories to share.

So long and thanks for all the sun!

We’ll be back soon!